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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28681866">:)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlxnetDarwin/pseuds/PlxnetDarwin'>PlxnetDarwin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Based off of events from the dream smp, Hurt No Comfort, Ranboo hears voices, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Short Chapters, Tags May Change, This was made while I was dissociating, Updates probably won't be consistent, probably a lot of typos, this is my first time writing something like this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:34:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28681866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlxnetDarwin/pseuds/PlxnetDarwin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ranboo keeps hearing voices in his head, but no one expected the most powerful voice to be Dream.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>139</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I'm not even real.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hiya! This is my first time posting and I decided to write about what's happening with Ranboo on the Dream SMP because I really love his character. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, he wasn’t even sure where he was going, but his legs wouldn’t stop running, and so, he followed.</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>Tubbo hugged his best friend once more, still overjoyed with having him back, but knowing he had other business to attend to. Tomorrow was happening much too quickly, and L’manburg had far too little supplies for the battle. He met up with the others back at Eret’s place, getting up onto the makeshift podium to make one of his final speeches.</p>
<p>“Everyone please settle down for a moment,” He started, looking around at his citizens as they hurried to collect supplies. Once everyone was settled and he had their attention, Tubbo continued. “Tomorrow is a big day. Technoblade and Dream are merciless and powerful. They have nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain, and as your President I want to remind you all that this will not be an easy battle, but it is one that we all need to work together in order to win. As per Tommy’s request we have three double chests, one for armor, one for weapons, and one for other supplies such as potions. I would like everyone to pitch in and help fill up these chests before tomorrow so that we have as many advantages as possible. Tommy says that Technoblade is a powerful man, and I don’t want us losing L’manburg again. Agreed?” He paused as he listened to the shouts of agreement from his friends, he was nervous, but he knew that if he faked confidence, he would give his soldiers confidence, and that is what they all needed. He took a deep breath before finishing his speech, “Work together everyone, and get a good night’s rest, we’ve got a war to win tomorrow.”</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Ranboo winced at every water droplet that fell onto him, and yet he made no effort to move, or even fix the problem. He knew making his panic room underwater would lead to problems such as leaks, but a part of him whispered that he liked it here, this was his safe place, if pain came to him in his safe place he probably deserved it, so Ranboo sat still, mumbling to himself in the cold, cramped room.</p>
<p>“That’s not true- I didn’t- I wouldn’t- I didn’t help Tommy blow up the community house. I don’t remember doing that.” Ranboo spoke into the room, growing frantic as he tried to convince himself that he had been with everyone else when they realized the community house had been destroyed.</p>
<p>“You don’t remember a lot of things, Ranboo, especially now that you don’t have your little book to help you.” </p>
<p>Dream stood in the doorway of Ranboo’s panic room, leaning against the wall with a too-smug expression on his face.</p>
<p>“Dream I didn’t blow up the community house, I would’ve remembered. I remember events like that I-I remember burning down George’s house I remember Tommy getting exiled I would’ve remembered this.” Ranboo pleaded with Dream, wanting so desperately to believe that he hadn’t helped Tommy in his wrong doings, but what if Dream was right? What if he didn’t remember? He had helped Tommy burn down George’s house, maybe he had helped Tommy with this too.</p>
<p>Dream shrugged, he seemed to know exactly what Ranboo was thinking. “Your mind works in funny ways, Ranboo, I mean think about it, who else would help Tommy do something like this? You were the one that was with him when he burned down George’s house!”</p>
<p>“How could I not remember this..” Ranboo suddenly was questioning himself, did he really have that bad of a memory? “I mean obviously I must remember this because..”</p>
<p>“It couldn’t have been anyone but you.” Dream finished the sentence for him, a satisfied expression making its way onto his face as he listened to Ranboo attempt to reason with himself.</p>
<p>Ranboo seemed to be arguing with himself switching between claiming he hadn’t done it and claiming that he had. He pulled his memory book out and flipped through the pages, large tears fell onto empty pages, nothing was there anymore, nothing besides that damn smile. He gasped for air, looking back up at Dream with horror in his eyes. “But- but if I don’t remember doing that I must not have.”</p>
<p>“Tch,” Dream shook his head, “C’mon now, Ranboo, would it have even been something you would have written down? Even if you had your book you wouldn’t be able to remember if you had done it or not. That book isn’t reliable.”</p>
<p>“The book isn’t-” Ranboo frowned, staring down at the smiley face written on a half torn out page, “But if I can’t rely on the book, then what can I rely on?”</p>
<p>At this Dream knelt down in front of Ranboo, who refused to look up at him again. He hummed quietly, seeming to consider his words carefully before saying, “I don’t know. Certainly not yourself. I’m not even real.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean you’re not real?” Ranboo laughed bitterly, this was the man that had caused this whole mess. Of course he was real, but when Ranboo looked up, he realized no one was there. There were no footprints, no puddles of where one would have stood, there was no sign that anyone had ever been in there other than Ranboo himself.</p>
<p>“Dream?” He frowned, looking around the room for the man that had just been standing in front of him. “He’s not real.. He was just in my head…” Ranboo mumbled, starting to feel the overwhelming sense of panic rise up in his chest again. “He never was real, he was just in my head. My god- Dream is with Technoblade. He was never here to begin with.”</p>
<p>Desperately Ranboo looked around, he needed to write this down, he needed to have a reminder that it had just been a voice, and that he shouldn’t trust it. His eyes landed on his memory book, and he sprawled out on the floor as he reached for it, not bothering to sit up properly. He grabbed his pen and flipped the book open, expecting the first page labelled “Friends” to be there.</p>
<p>Instead, he found torn out pages, and on the first page, a small smiley face written smack center in the middle of the page.</p>
<p>And he broke.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. This is War.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After the war, Ranboo finds himself struggling to distinguish fact from fiction.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So sorry for such a late update, I really did not have the mental capacity to write another chapter. As always, TW for delusions, panic attacks, as well as hearing voices. This chapter also includes mentions of blood and injuries, as well as war. Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy hacked apart the last dispenser with his pickaxe. Despite L’manburg already having been destroyed, he hated the thought of any more TNT falling onto his home. Well, it’s ruins. He looked to Tubbo, standing on another dispensing point to his left, then to Quackity, standing in the same place, but to his right.</p>
<p>	Tubbo held his pickaxe over his shoulder, he felt weak and light-headed, and he was still bleeding from several, some large, some small, gashes scattered across his body. He met up with Tommy on his block, and the two sat down a little distance away from Quackity, who sat down as well. Tubbo dropped his pick next to him and felt at his horns, noting a large chip in one of them, which he didn’t worry much about, as the horns didn’t bleed or anything. He sighed and leaned against his best friend, far too young to be President, and yet he felt as old as time. Twice, he had let his L’manburg blow up. He let Dream manipulate him, he let him take his best friend away. He trusted traitors, he lost friends, and he was still only a teenager.</p>
<p>	The three looked upon their destroyed country, silently agreeing that it was gone beyond repair. Tommy held Tubbo’s hand, Quackity took his hat off, using it to wipe the sweat off his forehead. They sat in silence for many moments, until Quackity eventually spoke up.</p>
<p>	“Well boys, shall we sing the anthem a final time? In honor?”</p>
<p>	The other two agreed, and together, slowly, the three sang L’manburg’s anthem, though it was still as out of tune as any other time, they didn’t care. Their L’manburg was gone, and it was only fitting to give their home a proper goodbye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	After the three were back on the ground, they had a brief discussion with Ghostbur, who left abruptly, claiming he had to go talk to Philza. Ghostbur was an odd fellow, but everyone appreciated the way he was able to be friends with everyone, and they all secretly wished that they were able to maintain such neutral relationships with others, but alas, that just wasn’t how the world of the living worked.</p>
<p>	Tommy watched as a small crowd gathered around him and Tubbo, who was now swinging slightly from side to side, and was clearly about to pass out. Tommy grabbed the pickaxe from Tubbo, handing it to Quackity to hold onto, and he helped Tubbo onto his back, holding him there as he addressed the crowd, many bleeding or burned in places, and all of them needing some sort of emotional support.</p>
<p>	“Well, fellas, and Niki,” he started, nodding at Niki with a small smile, she did not return the gesture. “We worked hard today, and we did our best. I’m proud of all of you, and I am truly honored to call you my soldiers. Please, take care of yourselves. I’m sure Puffy would be more than willing to help you with any injuries you may have, and my door is always open to you all. Take a few days to rest, I’m very sorry for the loss we’ve had today. I know L’manburg was home to many of you, and, if needed, we will make accommodations for those of you who lost your homes and valuables. I need a moment with Tubbo, but you may speak to Quackity if you need some sort of support, and he will relay it back to me.”</p>
<p>	Quackity nodded at Tommy, and turned to address the crowd, letting Tommy slip away with Tubbo.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Tommy took Tubbo back to his place, which he was thankful was rather far from the rest of L’manburg, and hadn’t been hit by the explosion. He walked in and set Tubbo down in his bed, rummaging through chests and pulling out bandages, food, and healing pots. He started to wrap Tubbo’s wounds, being careful not to wrap them too tight.</p>
<p>	He felt Tubbo squirm slightly as he awoke, and Tommy quickly sat up and handed him a heal pot, as well as food and water.</p>
<p>	“Hey, here take this. You got hit pretty bad out there.”</p>
<p>	Tubbo took the items gratefully, downing the fruity potion, but setting the food and water down on the table. He took note of the large burn on Tommy’s face, most of it surrounding his shoulders, and parts of his arms. Tommy’s shirt was torn and burned, and he had a couple of gashes himself.</p>
<p>	“Please let me help you..” Tubbo said horsley, leaning forward and reaching out towards Tommy, who pushed him back and popped a healing pot.</p>
<p>	“I’m okay, Tubbo. I can fix myself up. You need to rest now, okay? We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow, and you’ll need your energy to heal up.”</p>
<p>	Tubbo nodded slowly and laid back down, opening his arms for his friend to come lay with him, which Tommy did, snuggling into Tubbo’s chest, before both of them fell asleep. Feeling safe in their best friend’s company.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>	Ranboo was back in the panic room, now accompanied by his two cats, and his dog. He was crying, he was clutching his memory book, he was injured. What had happened? He couldn’t remember when he got here. He remembered the war, of course.</p>
<p>	His shoulders shook as he sobbed, not sure what to do or what to think. Fundy had just told him that he planned on taking down L’manburg. His friend, the one who told him not to choose sides, had chosen a side. He had watched as Niki, sweet, caring Niki, who would never hurt a fly, burned down the L’mantree. And had he told anybody? No. Not a soul. He had come straight here after talking to Fundy, he remembered now. He had talked to Fundy and then he had come here.</p>
<p>	“Oh, Ranboo.. You never learn, do you?”</p>
<p>	“W-what? No- no go away leave me alone.” Ranboo shouted out, he didn’t want to talk to Dream again. Dream had caused all of this, and he never wanted to see his face again.</p>
<p>	Alas, there, in the doorway, stood Dream. Though he looked dirtier now, which was ironic, because Ranboo couldn’t remember seeing him out on the battlefield at all. No, he had seen Technoblade, he had even seen Phil a little bit in the beginning, but he hadn’t seen Dream once.</p>
<p>	“Ranboo, Ranboo, Ranboo, what did you expect? I mean, you blew up the community house, surely you wanted the war to happen, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>	“No no last time you- you said Tommy blew it up.” Ranboo gripped his shirt, feeling like he couldn’t get any oxygen in. He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to will Dream away, but to no avail.</p>
<p>	“No. I said you blew up the community house, and Tommy helped you, but you and I both know that I was just saying that to make you feel better. But I mean, after what happened today? You deserve to know the truth. You can’t keep blaming others for your mistakes. You’re a traitor. You blew up the community house.” Dream’s voice was firm and scary, he sounded so mean, and all Ranboo wanted was for it to go away. For Dream to go away.</p>
<p>	He could barely understand what was going on, he hadn’t blown up the community house, he reasoned with himself. He didn’t even have any TNT, there was no way he would have been able to blow up the community house. Somehow, though, Dream seemed to know what he was thinking.</p>
<p>	“Come on Ranboo, you really think you would leave evidence just laying around in a chest? Anyone could access that at any time. You’re smarter than that, kid. Give yourself some credit.”</p>
<p>	“Shut up s-shut up. You- I wouldn’t do that. I would remember hiding the TNT. I would remember that.”</p>
<p>	Dream hummed and leaned forward, holding Ranboo’d pickaxe out towards him. “Why don’t you see for yourself?” He questioned the teenager, nodding to a part of the wall.</p>
<p>	Ranboo felt like sobbing again, but he couldn’t do that in front of Dream. He took the pickaxe and stared at it in awe, as though he had never seen it before. He heard Dream cough impatiently, and he slowly got to his feet, chipping away the block next to him.</p>
<p>	He cleared the rubble out of the way and pulled out a small chest. He glanced over at Dream, who was smiling at him. He opened the box with shaky hands, dropping it when he saw what was inside.</p>
<p>	The box fell to the ground with a loud thud, and two sticks of TNT rolled across the floor, stopping at Dream’s feet. Ranboo dropped to his knees, his head in his hands, now sobbing loudly. He couldn’t believe that he had done such a thing. He had blown up the community house!</p>
<p>	“Why?! Why Dream why would I do this?” He sobbed, hoping for some form of comfort from the man in his doorway, but he heard no response. He turned around to check behind him, only to see no one in the doorway. The TNT was still rolling, now dangerously close to falling out of the panic room. Nothing had been there to stop it.</p>
<p>	Quickly, Ranboo grabbed the sticks and shoved them back into the box. Leaving it on the floor as he collected himself. It took the boy several hours to calm down, and by the time he left it was dark, and he decided to go for a walk.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading! Hopefully I'll be able to update again soon.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading! You can leave any criticism in the comments. I'll try my best to update weekly but that may not happen consistently. My apologies for any typos, I will try my best to fix any that I find. Thank you! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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